It was an incident at one of Bangalore’s largest super store “Big Bazaar” that actually intrigued me to explore the enormous power of questions. It was habitual for my friends and my family to go shopping to this store on the first of every month for our groceries and monthly needs. However, it was in the month of October 2009 that I found my friends son “Anshu” was not his actual self – the cheerful and ever helping mama’s boy. It was as if you could read his thoughts that he was upset over something and likewise behaved as if we were unknown to him – His expressions and the walk were a perfect depiction.
When I asked his mother what the matter was, she replied that Anshu wanted Doy clay (a synthetic clay which children like to play with) which his father had refused to buy as he was concerned that the child would stain the walls of their new home. My eyes travelled to wherever Anshu went and I observed the disappointment as well as the disconnected behaviour never left him. After the Grocery section parallel to the utilities section was the Children Section of toys, games & articles. As we turned around from the Grocery section I observed Anshu, he gave a fixed gaze at the children section for a while and then just walked away – still the disappointment on ,his face.
We finished our shopping and had now reached the billing counter. As my friend was getting his purchases billed we heard the voice of Anshu, who had held onto a rack of exquisite crockery and uttered emphatically “Dad!! Doy Clay”. The threat was evident and the look on his dads face was a mixture of shock, resentment, anger, anguish and embarrassment. The child started flexing himself holding onto the rack (not shaking the rack though) intensifying the threat. The father pleaded to the child not to do it and immediately took off towards the children section and brought the Doy clay showing it to the child. The child only left the rack after the clay was billed. It was so amusing that the people all around burst onto a loud laughter. The child’s face wore a victorious smile and the majestic walk was a delight to watch – the entire body language read “I have defeated you completely”.
The mother of the child was not too happy with what the child had done and she walked up to the child, knelt before him and smilingly she asked “Are you happy, now that you have got Doy clay?” the child replied “Yes”. The mother further asked “My god! You made the whole town laugh today isn’t it? The child gave a sporty smile. The mother went on “You know Anshu, do you remember the incident in Mumbai quite some time back where a few people held valuable people at the Taj/ Oberoi Hotel to make their demands heard. What you just did, is it anything similar to what they (the terrorists at Mumbai) did? The child’s face turned serious. The mother then asked “Do you think what you did is right?” the child just shook his head uttering a feeble “NO”. Then the mother asked “So what do you think you should do?” the child just picked up the Doy clay from the trolley walked up to the children’s section and placed it on the racks all by himself.
When he returned his mother again asked “Is this all that you need to do? Have you seen the way people laughed at your dad which is embarrassing? Do you want your father to hang his head in shame every time he comes to this store?” The child said “No” hugged his fathers legs and with watery eyes said “I’m sorry Dad! I will not do it again. I don’t want to be a Terrorist”. The mother then kissed the child and went towards the exit to wait for all of us. However, the father ruffled the hair of Anshu lovingly, walked across to the rack picked up the Doy clay and bought it for his son. When I asked him why he bought it for his son the father gave a stunning reply “Avinash, I could see responsibility in my son’s eyes and I know that he will not stain the walls of my house”. It is several months now and the walls of my friends house are still intact.
This episode tells us something very special it advocates the power of questions. We are not talking about probing here but, the kind of questions that can raise the maturity or the realization of an individual. Asking appropriate questions can help in enabling one to realise their mistakes or help raise their realisation levels. The individual now responds maturely and acts with a higher level of responsibility. One needs to take note here such questions cannot have sarcasm, threat, or be demeaning. They should necessarily contain meaningful words and a pleasantly-serious tone which elevates the individuals thought process and help him in quickly converging on the corrective behaviour.
When I asked his mother what the matter was, she replied that Anshu wanted Doy clay (a synthetic clay which children like to play with) which his father had refused to buy as he was concerned that the child would stain the walls of their new home. My eyes travelled to wherever Anshu went and I observed the disappointment as well as the disconnected behaviour never left him. After the Grocery section parallel to the utilities section was the Children Section of toys, games & articles. As we turned around from the Grocery section I observed Anshu, he gave a fixed gaze at the children section for a while and then just walked away – still the disappointment on ,his face.
We finished our shopping and had now reached the billing counter. As my friend was getting his purchases billed we heard the voice of Anshu, who had held onto a rack of exquisite crockery and uttered emphatically “Dad!! Doy Clay”. The threat was evident and the look on his dads face was a mixture of shock, resentment, anger, anguish and embarrassment. The child started flexing himself holding onto the rack (not shaking the rack though) intensifying the threat. The father pleaded to the child not to do it and immediately took off towards the children section and brought the Doy clay showing it to the child. The child only left the rack after the clay was billed. It was so amusing that the people all around burst onto a loud laughter. The child’s face wore a victorious smile and the majestic walk was a delight to watch – the entire body language read “I have defeated you completely”.
The mother of the child was not too happy with what the child had done and she walked up to the child, knelt before him and smilingly she asked “Are you happy, now that you have got Doy clay?” the child replied “Yes”. The mother further asked “My god! You made the whole town laugh today isn’t it? The child gave a sporty smile. The mother went on “You know Anshu, do you remember the incident in Mumbai quite some time back where a few people held valuable people at the Taj/ Oberoi Hotel to make their demands heard. What you just did, is it anything similar to what they (the terrorists at Mumbai) did? The child’s face turned serious. The mother then asked “Do you think what you did is right?” the child just shook his head uttering a feeble “NO”. Then the mother asked “So what do you think you should do?” the child just picked up the Doy clay from the trolley walked up to the children’s section and placed it on the racks all by himself.
When he returned his mother again asked “Is this all that you need to do? Have you seen the way people laughed at your dad which is embarrassing? Do you want your father to hang his head in shame every time he comes to this store?” The child said “No” hugged his fathers legs and with watery eyes said “I’m sorry Dad! I will not do it again. I don’t want to be a Terrorist”. The mother then kissed the child and went towards the exit to wait for all of us. However, the father ruffled the hair of Anshu lovingly, walked across to the rack picked up the Doy clay and bought it for his son. When I asked him why he bought it for his son the father gave a stunning reply “Avinash, I could see responsibility in my son’s eyes and I know that he will not stain the walls of my house”. It is several months now and the walls of my friends house are still intact.
This episode tells us something very special it advocates the power of questions. We are not talking about probing here but, the kind of questions that can raise the maturity or the realization of an individual. Asking appropriate questions can help in enabling one to realise their mistakes or help raise their realisation levels. The individual now responds maturely and acts with a higher level of responsibility. One needs to take note here such questions cannot have sarcasm, threat, or be demeaning. They should necessarily contain meaningful words and a pleasantly-serious tone which elevates the individuals thought process and help him in quickly converging on the corrective behaviour.
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