The One who has shown the WORLD to You...

One of my former colleagues by the name Narayana Shripathi never knew that the day of his retirement would come so soon. On the 1^st of June 2023 he was finally relieved from the company’s active work. Though young, he knew that he had finally crossed the threshold of “going back to the pavilion” – a phrase that he commonly used to say - "work time was over" and therefore he had taken voluntary retirement. We were both behavior analysts and had worked in the same division in one of the IT giants. Both of us were very unique in the way we conducted our training programs – while my sessions were more humorous, his were the ones that had a very serious atmosphere - the ones where you could not even look at your neighbor for even a fleeting moment. We both got along well – as they say “Good cop – Bad cop” or “tough cop – Soft cop” or in Hindi “Naram – Garam” go on well. 

 After a long time, we did meet yesterday at a restaurant while I had gone with my friend for a meeting with one of the Government Official. I was extremely happy to meet him and right from the word go we started to speak about our good old days that we had while working together. At one point I remembered jocularly calling him “Dasharatha” (of Raamaayana fame) because he had 4 sons – Duttaprasad, Abhignyadutta, Gurudutta and Devadutta (in the same order of from elder to younger). The uniqueness in them was that, the first two were twins and the next two were also twins but separated by a gap of 3 years. All of them had finished their graduation and had immediately got into employment with the giants of Indian Corporate World. The boys were brilliant and I always complimented him on his wonderful gifted children. When I asked him about them, he gave a wide smile. Although he felt proud about, he said there was more to it. When I asked what it was? Narayana went on to tell us about a task that he had given to his children to understand their inner status. I was curious to know what it was?, as Narayana was definitely a brilliant behavioral analyst.

Narayana then told us this episode. It so happened that one day Narayana withdrew Rupees 4 lakhs (Rs. 4,00,000/-) from his bank and called all his 4 sons into his study room. He told them that he had a task for them. He gave each one of them Rupees 1 Lakh (Rs.1,00,000/-) and told them “here is one lakh rupees – I give you 1 week to use this money to go wherever possible & prostrate to that entity which has shown you the world. Take a photograph of it and come back”. After a week all the 4 came back to meet Narayana to report about the completion of the task. Narayana then asked them to explain where they had gone and what they did

• Duttaprasad the eldest of the four said he went to a grand mall and bought a MacBook of Apple. He said that the laptop was itself a world which introduced him to the wonders of every single information that was available on the internet. It also allowed him to access intricate information and also protect the same with an excellent intrusion prevention system so that he is able to use it whenever he wants it without the system getting corrupted. This laptop costed him a good Rs. 1 Lakh.

• Abhignyadutta the second son also said that he had been to a wonderful store and purchased a latest IPhone. He said it had functions that made him really versatile in assessing information and getting to know the world in a flash. Also it allowed him to communicate and share information in the form of text, video, audio and a mix of the three to any person in the far corners of the world. It had so many features that it practically made him powerful by using them. He said he now has the whole world in his pocket. He said his phone costed him Rs. 80,000/- and he had saved Rs. 20,000/- which he had with him now. 

• Gurudutta the third son, very softly mentioned that he travelled to Uttarkashi (in the north Indian state of Uttarakhand) and went to a Guru who had initiated him a long time ago. It was to the Guru that he went with 5 types of fruits and a garland, did pooja to his guru’s divine feet. He prostrated before the Guru for showing him the path of self-realization and how to do the sadhana (penance) in understanding the soul better and also work on the inner journey to attain moksha. He said meeting the Guru and the journey only costed him about Rs.20,000/- and the remainder sum of money he had with him. He showed the photograph of him and his guru to Narayana. 

• Devadutta the last son just stood silent looking at the floor. When Narayana asked him about what he had done and whether he had completed the task. Devadutta said “Here is the entire money (keeping the money on Narayana’s table). I’m sorry I could not complete the task just like how my brothers have done. I am very unfortunate and not as lucky as they are.” Narayana was surprised and asked him "why what happened?”. Devadutta said - the entity who showed him the entire world left this entire world a couple of years ago. She was none other than his mother and remembering her dearly he said "I could only bring her photo". He went on to say “it was she who introduced milk to me to first quench my thirst and hunger; She showed me how the hand fan kept mosquitos away; she took me down the dream land with her stories; she kept disturbances away to let me know the benefit of restful sleep; She introduced me to the crow, the sparrow, the cow, the dog, the squirrel, the pigeon, the eagle, the horse, the camel, the elephant while she fed me; she taught me to hold her hand and the value of holding on to worthy relationships; she taught me the variety of languages so that I can communicate with the external world, she taught me the wonder of books and to love the knowledge & wisdom that each gave; she made me learn how to hand over charge & yet monitor growth and learning by sending me to school to be taught by teachers, she made me understand the value of efforts & said only when you toil burning the midnight oil you’ll glow like a sun; she made me emotionally strong by allowing me to cry, laugh, cheer, be compassionate, feel pity, be courageous & brave; she also emulated an epitome of most respected behavior that allows me to deal with the world respectfully today; She showed me the right path in life to tread on when walking in the world alone or with people; she induced patriotism into me and to love my country more; she forbade me to hurt anyone or tell lies or be addicted to bad habits; She told me there’s no shame in saying a sorry, when you are wrong or misunderstood; She forced me to always work with conscience – don’t be mute to injustice and never to lose my good-self no matter what… there’s more that I’ve learnt from her which moulded me into living in a manner - to see the world as it is, enjoy the world as it is and leave the world as it is. There’s no one who has shown me the world as she did, no one who taught me how to live in this world as she did and no one who educated me on how to leave the world as she did. I prostrated before her and now I prostrate before you for being that person who brought this woman into your life and made her my mother.” Narayana’s eyes welled with tears as he related this entire episode to us & we were just listening with rapt attention. Finally Narayana said – “You know Avinash, Devadutta in undefinable, something in him is different and I don’t know what Punya me & Shrilekha had done to be gifted with such a son. With such a son who would not feel proud? who would not feel blessed? who would not feel happy - this is it that's more that i wanted to tell you”

The pride very clearly noticeable on Narayanas face and it also had a sense of satisfaction, contentment, happiness, tranquility – rather a mixture of all these. I was still lost in thoughts when he said a bye to me and left. This 23 year old had devastated my mindset and brought me back those memories that were somewhere hidden in my mind. Those great moments that I had lived with my mother. Each word Devadutta mentioned were so true and unchallengeable. No wonder it is aptly said “There’s no GURU as your Mother – she moulds, bakes, strengthens, teaches, punishes & nips all the jagged edges to make us worthy in the world to live in." It may be an experiment of Narayana but it certainly is a lesson for me to love my mother more. So lets honour the one who has shown the world to us.

©PICTURE - timescontent.com - Rajasthani Woman 

More than Medical Care - What you Love heals...

The rains lashing down the city today reminded me of a similar day that occurred several years ago. Driving after work trying to reach home avoiding the traffic jams, I switched on the FM radio. There was a caller who was speaking to the radio jockey named RJ Darius Sunawala. The RJ was known for a chirpy, witty chat-master who with his talk kept all in a humorous mood and while he spoke it was like happiness all around. The caller said “RJ Darius, A million thanks to you for saving my mother’s life. These words are too less to express the gratitude that I have for you. Thank you very much Darius.” The RJ Darius was shockingly surprised to hear these words and asked him what had happened to the caller’s mother and how was he (Darius) responsible in saving her life.

The caller said that his mother was a die-hard fan of RJ Darius Sunawala and never missed his show on the FM Radio. She enjoyed it a lot and this kept her on a happy note all the time. A month prior to this call his mother had met with a brutal accident that made her stay put on the hospital bed. The medications along with scores of treatments were given yet her health condition never improved. It seems that one day she asked her son what the time was. Her son replied it was evening 7 PM and promptly she said “Darius Show on radio would be ON right?”. The son immediately was surprised and he immediately on his mobile switched on the FM radio and connected the headphones to it and asked her to hear to the RJ Darious Show. Listening to her favorite RJ conducting the show brought a smile which soon brightened her face and there was a glitter in her eyes. The son immediately went on to the internet and downloaded a load of all the previous shows of Darius and kept playing it to her asking her to hear it through the headphones. Lo behold all her health parameters improved in a couple triple of days and in the next few days she recovered completely. This was an unforgettable experience for the caller and RJ Darius too was overwhelmed by such a happening. I was really touched by this episode. Little did I know that I will experience a similar kind many years later.

My friend Anoop, had a beautiful life of a IT professional and had it all – a nice villa, a luxurious car, a loving wife, caring parents (both) and 2 wonderful children. It was the October of 2022 when my friend met with a road accident. While Anoop was sitting beside the driver seat in the car which was being driven by his friend. Anoop’s friend in the process of saving a child who suddenly ran on the road swerved off the road and hit into a massive tree. Though the driver escaped due to the seatbelt, Anoop was badly injured in the impact and was unconscious. He was taken to a hospital where he was attended to the head injury and treated for the harsh bruises that he had got due to the splinters from the cars glass and dashboard had struck his face.  Over the next week although the medical treatments were continuously made available it was a challenge to first bring him out of unconsciousness. The response from Anoop was feeble. With the skull draped in bandages and his face holding patches over the sutures that were done, it was a sad sight to see him speak feebly and in great agony. All the medical parameters still fell flat indicating no concrete improvement as expected to happen to a man running at 45 years age. I happened to meet him with a few common friends in the hospital to cheer him up and also show the solidarity awaiting him to get back on feet soon. As we were in the midst of speaking to him, a call came to one of our friends’ hand-phone – the ringtone was the most wonderful melody sung by Kishore Kumar (the legend of hind movie songs) called “Chookar mere manko kiya tuney kya ishaara”. No sooner had it rung Anoop’s eyes flashed in the direction of the tune. It was then I realized that he too was a diehard fan of Kishore Kumar Songs. Each song we would sing word by word to our hearts content anytime it played. I then asked his wife to download the songs of Kishore Kumar and play it from him to listen throughout the day. His wife promptly went into action doing just all that was needed and played Kishore Kumar Songs right through the day on his headphone. The health parameters started to improve and in a fortnight he was back to normalcy.

This had made me to ponder on “Could this be a better way to help patients and seniors recover from their ailments without disrupting any kind of treatment?” It was over the past few months that I have been working on seniors to understand how their geriatric issues can be addressed and how completely they can find relief to their ailments and disease. I was shocked by the results and outcome of the intensive research that my team had conducted. The research revealed that the most vibrant need of over 93% of senior respondents living in senior homes/ old age homes/ retirement homes etc is that “they yearn for someone to speak to them and listen to them”. A couple of colleagues and I tried being their bouncing boards. We spent time listening to them speaking to them, observed them and realized the way their energies changing. We understood that they just wanted people to talk to them. After 3 months of such conversations with the elderly we found that their health improved – the indicators being the medical parameters or hyper-hypo tension, levels in sugar levels in diabetics and their ability of mobility overcoming joint pains. But while doing this we also realized that although they wanted to speak to us there were a few things that we needed to keep in mind during the conversations they were:-

1.    Never to talk about their past painful segments of life.

2.  Never to speak about their children or relatives as this drowned them in tears stressing them further.

3.     Avoid asking them on their health problems and health issues – they just don’t like it.

4.     Avoid being sympathetic to them as pity puts them off.

5.  They wanted people to respect them, respect their views and give honest/ genuine responses. Respect does not mean being a yes man but also disagreeing and reasoning it out with them.

6.   They wanted to be treated as equals and want their advise, knowledge and wisdom to be treated worthy to be applied or practically feasible. Whether you apply it or not they want you to dialogue with the thought of how workable and pragmatic it is and how it can be made useful.

7.  They want to still be worthy to people or companies or to the society despite their age. It is important for us to know how we are going to handle them keeping their sensitivities in place.

 It is a point to note that time flies, we too will get old and when we do – we may be even more lonelier than what the world is today. It is best we keep our parents at our home and take care of them so that we become role-models for our children and set an example for them to emulate. All that the elders or your parents need is you and your time to speak to them – this will address their physical and emotional health requirements. It’s time to wake up, to be alert & attentive to what our dear ones are sensitive to, what their love/ passion is; what inspires them and what makes them come alive. This can definitely make the lives of doctors easy when working on patients that are least responding to their medical treatments.